talking to a hot boy’s parents like, “I’m a big fan of your work”
Mama and Papa Criss…
Animals that are really awesome.
Laughing at the penguins :)
How is it that the English title for TFiOS is beautiful and poetic, while the Norwegian title is just "F*ck Fate"? The Norwegian cover is nice, though.
I love that title.
I love that in Norway you can call a YOUNG ADULT NOVEL Fuck Fate.
Screw Shakespeare; I would’ve called the novel Fuck Fate in a second if I thought I could’ve gotten away with it.
btw, in Norway, the movie is ALSO CALLED FUCK FATE.
Let us pause now and praise the glorious nation of Norway.
"I think I’d most like to spend a day with Harry. I’d take him out for a meal and apologize for everything I’ve put him through." J.K Rowling.
Happy Birthday, Jo! Thank you for existing and creating the amazing world all of us love and will cherish forever! (July 31st, 1965)
talking to a hot boy’s parents like, “I’m a big fan of your work”
Mama and Papa Criss…
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
i think its funny how there are some actors who played a role for so long that its almost impossible for me to see them as anything else
and then there are some actors who’ve done so many roles i dont even see them as actors anymore it’s just them as themselves in another movie
and then there are actors who you’re not quite sure what they really look like
What the fuck even is Johnny depp
Great mail day! Got my “Coochy” shaving cream - this is seriously the best thing ever! And I got “Bleeding Heart” which I can’t wait to read!
Chris and the other guys talking about “making love” is cracking me up. And his later version of just calling it “bow chicka wow wow”
Best $1.85 I have ever spent.
Is anyone going to the signing tomorrow? The ever so wonderful yanks02 is looking for cool people to chill with there.
Anyone? The Grove signing?
Keep Johnna company!
Key word being “chill” ;D
Also this post makes me sound like an orphan. Heeeeey haaaaay guys come hang out with me kkkkkkkk
I wish I could be there, but it looks like you’ve got some new friends. As much I want to be there, I also don’t know if I could deal with the crowd at The Grove. Looking forward to the pics though (especially if there are costumes!)
Pride Playbill Give Away~
Oh yes, you have NINE (8 playbills and iPhone 5 case) chances to win.
First pull gets first pick, and so on and so forth.
Three reblogs are the maximum.
You should follow me because I am awesome.
Liking the post screws up the drawing so please don’t do it.
I’ll pick the winners in July 27th at 11:59.
I think you're right, I mean I can imagine how weird it must feel reading porn about you and one of your friends (or even your boyfriend for that matter) written by a bunch of strangers that actually don't know you- but I think the thing that upsets chris the most is the fact that some of those people seem to think that all of that is real..if it wasn't for all of that shit he probably would have laughed about it more! (imho)
My official moral stance on RPF (and actually on pretty much everything) is that it is okay if it puts more good into the world than bad. If the RPF stayed online and people read it and enjoyed it and Chris didn’t know it was there, or just had an inkling but never had it shoved in his face and didn’t go looking. Then I am a-ok with it and that’s how it has been in some fandoms and how it was here for a small amount of time.
Even the true-believers… I would be okay with their delusional, hateful ranting if it wasn’t so upsetting and damaging to Chris, his friends, family, boyfriend, as well as upsetting a lot of people in fandom by extension. But it is part of their ethos to scream it at Chris, to force it on everyone else, to be hateful and abusive as loudly as they can be. I don’t think true believers can shut up and keep their shit to themselves. Chris has expressed his dislike and fear of them and both him and Darren have clearly told people to stop. But they don’t.
I would be much, much more comfortable if talk with Chris about fanfiction was about some of the fantastic AU klaine fics that have happened. I think he’d be into that if no one tried to actually make him read it, or talk about sex, or his relationship with Darren. But I do think kind of going: Hey there was this 150k word story where Kurt was a UN translator and Blaine was an international spy and they end up locked in a plane over the Atlantic with a bunch of diplomats and a bad guy and need to defuse a bomb… I think he’d be into that. I mean, tlos is clear fanfiction and he knows it. So I’d love to actually pick his brain about transformative works without making him uncomfortable.
As it stands now, though, he links fanfiction to hardcore sex between him and Darren written by people who really believe it. And that’s bullshit and none of the perpetrators have the mentally capacity or state of mind to actually recognise how fucked up their behavior is.
Chris Colfer Q&A 7-15-14 St. Louis County Library
I love how relaxed he is now at these signings and Q&As. He looks like he’s having fun with the audience and is revealing a lot more of his personality. I wonder if attending Hillary’s book signing also changed a little of how he approaches these events after being on the “other side” of the signing.